glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
