hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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