idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
