So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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