Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
