Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
