You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Randomize