i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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