Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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