Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Randomize
