Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
