he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
