the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
