You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
