3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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