I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
