The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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