Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
