Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
