Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
