You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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