i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
