Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
