On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
