God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
