dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
