So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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