just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
this hospital has no fireball
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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