you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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