dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
