I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
