I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
