I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
