I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
