I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
