That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize