i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
