Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
