So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize