Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
