Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
