i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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