Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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