If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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