Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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