There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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