Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize