You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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