Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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