just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
