Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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