another moral hangover. fuck.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
