yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You pole danced in your parka.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
