is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
