but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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