and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
