We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
