BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
