it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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