Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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