My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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