he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
