butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We had to coat check the pizza.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
