Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
