If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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