She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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