well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
