I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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