I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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