I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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