I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize