Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
