I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
she peed on how many people?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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