It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
