I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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