mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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