of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
